Of Wheels and Feathers
by sbartist357
Summary: When Private becomes the latest victim of the infamous Graveyard 8, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico plan to end the bus's mayhem once and for all. (Based on "Concrete Jungle Survival")
1. Hit-and-Run

**Hi, everyone! Welcome to my first-ever Penguins of Madagascar fanfiction! :D I've recently been rewatching the series and came up with this idea. Since this story is about the season 2 episode "Concrete Jungle Survival", I recommend watching the episode first before reading this, but it's optional. As for the story cover, I made it myself using Photoshop; you can see the entire picture on my DeviantArt account by clicking the DeviantArt link on my profile. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter! :) Our story begins shortly after Kowalski's song about The Graveyard Eight. . .**

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It was almost time for the haunted bus called The Graveyard Eight to arrive on its nightly route of destruction. Private was left all alone with not even _The Concrete Jungle Survival Guide: Audio Book Version_ (which had self-destructed just moments earlier thanks to Rico) to help him. The lemurs were nowhere in sight, and Private figured they had either given up on the whole camping idea or had gone somewhere far away. The young cadet hoped it was the latter. A cool breeze blew past, causing Private to shiver both in fear and from the cold.

"Why did I even ask to be promoted? It's not like that classified joke is important. I mean, I didn't even know it existed until Skipper looked at it this morning." As he muttered to himself, a faint glowing light appeared in the distance. Private finally straightened up and tried to think optimistically.

"Well, I guess since I'm stuck in this situation anyway, I might as well pass it." He looked around for anything that could help him. On the side of the road was another garbage pile, across from the alley he was in. He slid over to it and began rummaging for items.

"Aha!" He exclaimed as he pulled out a stick and suction cup.

"Now I just need some string." In the middle of the road, Private could see a small, shiny strand of string. He waddled over, grabbed it, and began hastily trying to make a fishing line. After all, it was just two minutes to midnight, and The Graveyard Eight would be there at any moment. Unfortunately for Private, the bus showed up moments too soon. Just as he finished making his fishing line, the young penguin looked up to see the grill of the bus hurtling towards him. The last thing he saw was the blinding headlights and his terrified expression staring back at him from the chrome grill of the bus. There was a scream, a crash, and screeching wheels as the bus continued its journey, leaving the unmoving figure of a small penguin lying in its wake.

And it never slowed down once.

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 **Poor Private. :( I know it's kind of short, but the next one is longer. This story is already written out, so it's just a matter of posting each chapter on a schedule. I'll leave an author's note at the end of each chapter about when the next one will be posted, so be sure to follow and/or favorite this story if you like it! :)**


	2. The Search Begins

**Hey, everyone! Here's the second chapter. Sorry to have kept you waiting for a few days on that short first chapter, but here's a longer one to make up for it! :)**

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 _ **Penguin HQ, 0600 Hours**_

"Alright, men! Up and at 'em!" Skipper called to the bunks where Kowalski and Rico were still sleeping. It was 6 AM, which was when the team got up and went topside for morning training. The leader frowned when he saw them not moving. He waddled over to the bunks, picking up an air horn from the table along the way.

"I said up and at 'em!" He blew the horn right next to Kowalski's head, causing the lieutenant to bang his head hard against the concrete above him. Rico, on the other hand, rolled out and landed face first on the floor next to Skipper.

"AHHHH!" The scientist turned to see Skipper scowling. "Did you really have to blast that right next to my eardrum?"

"Affirmative, Kowalski. It's time to get up and train." Rico picked himself off the floor and stretched.

"What 'bout Pwivate?" Rico asked, noticing that Private's bunk was empty.

"I was wondering about that, Rico. Kowalski, did you see or hear him come in last night?"

"No, sir. Perhaps he's already topside?" He suggested, rubbing the feathers where his earhole was.

"Nope. I already checked. What time does The Graveyard Eight end its shift?" The tall penguin whipped out his abacus from seemingly nowhere and slid the beads back and forth, calculating.

"According to my estimates, it should have driven back to the central bus station about an hour ago. It wouldn't take that long for Private to head back from where we left him last night." Skipper's expression turned into one of slight concern.

"Alright, then. In that case, morning training is canceled. Instead, we're going to look for the private and split up. I'll cover the lemur habitat, Kowalski, search the park, and Rico, ask the rest of the zoo inhabitants. We meet back here at 0700 hours sharp." With that, the three climbed up the ladder and headed to their respective areas.

 _ **Lemur Habitat, 0605 Hours**_

"Hey, Maurice! That was some amazing camping trip last night, huh?" King Julien asked his assistant, who was trying to sleep after staying up all night. When Maurice didn't answer, he got upset and stomped over to him.

"MAURICE!" The short, gray lemur got up quickly, eyes now wide open. "I was asking you if the camping trip was amazing!"

"Oh, yeah. I definitely was amazing." Maurice answered tiredly. Suddenly Mort appeared, standing extremely close to Julien's feet.

"I like camping!" The little lemur began reaching for the king's feet (as he so often does).

"Mort! What have I told you about touching the king's feet?"

"To not touch them?"

"Exactly." He then gave Mort a swift kick, which sent him flying into the wall on the other side of the habitat. Maurice and Julien looked at him.

"Hmm. . . I guess I am having an off-day for kicking Mort. Maurice, remind me to practice more."

"Okay. King Julien, you have to practice kicking Mort more often."

"Thank you, Maurice! Now go get me a smoothie! I want mango, mango and, eh, more mango!" Maurice ran off to the bar to fix one up for him. At that moment, Skipper climbed over the wall of the habitat and slid over to Julien.

"Ah, if it isn't the bossy penguin who was doing his own camping activities with the other smelly penguins!" Skipper sighed.

"Ringtail, have you seen Private recently?"

"You mean the short, chubby one that is cute and polite?"

"Yeah."

"Eh, nope. We went for some snacks after you went off to play more camping games."

"We were not camping!"

"Whatever you say, bossy penguin. Maurice! Where is my mango, mango, with more mango smoothie!?"

"Coming right up!" Finally, Julien's assistant showed up with two smoothies and handed one to him. Maurice noticed Skipper standing there.

"Hey, Skipper. What's up?"

"I'm looking for the private. Have you seen him?" The dark gray lemur shook his head.

"No, not since last night. What about you, Mort?" They turned to Mort, who had since fallen to the ground and was now playing with his own feet.

"Private? I saw him standing all alone last night, and then we got snacks!" He gave them a cute smile. Maurice turned back to Skipper.

"Well, I guess that's your answer. Sorry, man." Skipper turned to leave.

"It's fine. I'll just keep searching. But if you do see him, let me know."

"Sure thing, Skipper," Maurice replied. And with that, the penguin flipped back over the wall he came in from.

 _ **Central Park, 0630 Hours**_

Kowalski had been searching for almost 30 minutes, and nobody that he talked to knew anything about Private's whereabouts. He decided to sit down under a shade tree and consult his clipboard.

"Ugh, I've asked all of the animals I could think of in Central Park, and yet none of them know where Private is!" He scanned his list of animals to double check and make sure he got everyone. As he reached the end, there was one animal drawing in particular that was not crossed off. The lieutenant groaned.

"Oh, boy." He got up and reluctantly headed over to a certain tree in the park in which this animal lived. He knocked on the tree's bark.

"Fred!" The penguin called. A brown, two-toned squirrel appeared in a hole in the side of the tree and looked around.

"Hello? Who's there?"

"Down here." Kowalski waved his flippers to get the squirrel's attention. Fred looked down and noticed him.

"Oh, hi."

"Have you seen Private?"

"Who?"

"Private. He's a penguin, short, chubby, cute." Kowalski explained as if talking to a small child.

"Uh, no."

"You showed up last night while I was singing about The Graveyard Eight! He was standing right in front of you!" The penguin said, sounding a bit frustrated.

"Oh, I did see him, then." The squirrel replied. Kowalski perked up.

"Really? When?"

"Well, like you said, if I showed up during your song and he was standing right in front of me, then yeah, I saw him." He stared on, expressionless as the penguin he was talking to had a slight meltdown. After a few minutes, the scientist regained his composure.

"I mean after that. Did you see him after my song when everyone else left?" Kowalski tried again, hoping that Fred would have a rare moment of brilliance and give him an actual answer.

"Oh. Why didn't you just say so? He was rummaging through some garbage on the side of the street. I was going to say hi to him, but then I heard the bus coming." Fred recollected. The tall penguin scribbled some notes down on his clipboard with a pencil.

"Do you remember anything else?"

"Hmm, well, after I left I heard a scream and a load crash, followed by screeching tires." Kowalski's eyes widened as he added that information to his notes.

"Was it coming from the direction you saw Private?"

"Uh-huh." Kowalski finished scribbling on his clipboard and looked at Fred.

"Thanks! See you around!" He quickly started sliding back in the direction of the zoo.

 _ **Marlene's Habitat, 0645 Hours**_

"'Ey! Marlene!" Rico called, sliding into the otter's habitat entrance. Marlene was still sleeping on the far side of the room. The weapons expert waddled over to her and gave her a tap with his flipper. She turned over but still didn't wake up.

"Marlene!" He tried again, giving her a firm shove. This time, she opened her eyes a crack, just enough to see Rico staring at her. She jumped.

"AHH! Rico, what are you doing scaring me like that?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Sowwy. 'Ave you seen Pwivate?" He asked.

"No, why?"

"Can't find 'im."

"Oh, no! Have you asked the other animals?" The otter questioned.

"Uh-huh." Rico nodded.

"Well, I'll keep my eyes open, then. I'll be sure to let you know if I see him." Marlene gave him a reassuring smile. He gave a tiny smile back and slipped back out of her habitat.

 _ **Penguin HQ, 0700 Hours**_

Skipper was pacing back and forth, trying to think of where Private could have gone off to. He took a sip of his fish coffee to wake himself up a little bit more. Suddenly, the hatch door opened and Rico and Kowalski came in. He turned to face them.

"Rico, report!"

"Nothin'." He grumbled, shrugging.

"Same," Skipper replied. "What about you, Kowalski? Any luck?"

"Yes, Skipper," He pulled out his clipboard to refer to his notes. "I talked to Fred the squirrel and he told me he saw Private rummaging through some garbage on the side of the road around midnight after we left."

"Well, that's something to go on. Did he say anything else?" The leader asked. Kowalski frowned.

"Yes, sir. He said he heard a scream followed by a loud crash and screeching tires." There was a long silence as the information sunk in. Skipper set his coffee down and placed his flippers on his hips.

"Rico, get the car. We're heading out."

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 **Well, the penguins are going to search for Private. Will they make it to him in time? Is it already too late? :O Find out in the next chapter!**


	3. At the Scene of the Crash

**Welcome to Chapter 3! :) I'm sure everyone wants to see what happens next, so here you go!**

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 _ **Penguins' Garage, 0705 Hours**_

"Alright, men. We're going on a possible search and rescue mission. I don't want any mistakes. Comprende?" Skipper ordered, sitting in the passenger seat of their pink car. The other penguins nodded.

"Skipper, I think we should head south through the park and proceed westward to where we left Private," Kowalski said from the back seat, showing him a map he drew on his clipboard.

"Excellent work, Kowalski. Rico, you got that?"

"Uh-huh!" Rico grumbled eagerly. He pressed on the gas pedal and they shot out of the concealed garage where their car was parked. Soon, they were tearing through Central Park at top speed.

"Private, here we come!" Skipper shouted over the wind. In no time at all, they were at the edge of the park. Rico made a sharp right turn, causing the others to hold on tight. As they neared the street where Private was last seen, they noticed construction signs and safety cones ahead.

"Steady, Rico." Skipper instructed. The crazy penguin nodded and swerved around the equipment with ease. Kowalski pointed at something about 30 feet away.

"Garbage pile at 11 o'clock!" He shouted.

"Okay, Rico. Pull up right here." Skipper said. The car suddenly did a full 180-degree turn and stopped right along the side of the building with the garbage pile, tilting slightly to the side before all four tires touched the ground. Kowalski studied the surroundings.

"It appears that the street is blocked off for some reason." The penguins flipped out of the car and onto the sidewalk. Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Obviously. Tell me something I don't know."

"There are more organisms living on your feathers than the entire human population." Skipper gave him a strange look.

"Tell me something else. Something relevant to the situation would be nice." Rico began pointing at something on the street and gibbering incoherently.

"Well, now. It looks like Rico's found something." Skipper noted. He walked around Rico to see what he was looking at. It was a piece of string, a suction cup, and a stick.

"Hmm. . ." Skipper pondered, rubbing his chin. "Kowalski, analysis." The tall penguin rushed to the items in question and picked them up one-by-one with his flippers.

"Well, this is certainly interesting. This looks to be a makeshift fishing line, albeit a broken one." The scientist observed, pointing to the stick, which was split in half. Rico again started to babble, now pointing to some marks on the ground a few inches away. The other penguins waddled over.

"Well, what do we have here?" Skipper asked. This time, Kowalski leaned down and measured the smudges with a ruler. He then gave them a small lick and grimaced.

"Rubber. They must have been made from the tires of a large vehicle."

"Such as The Graveyard Eight?" The leader asked.

"Possibly." Kowalski stood back up.

"Well, I guess that proves Fred's story is true. It seems like that demonized bus ran down another poor, innocent animal." Rico and Kowalski stared at Skipper with worried expressions.

"Do you. . . Do you think that the victim could've been. . ." The tall penguin started, getting tears in his eyes and sniffling.

"I know what you're trying to get at, Kowalski, but I refuse to think that way. A leader needs to have faith in his men. So, unless I see him in a terrible state with my own eyes, I'm going to keep believing that he's fine." Honestly, he was thinking the exact same thing, but he couldn't simply fall apart; he needed to maintain a level head (metaphorically speaking, that is). They looked around the area, searching for any sign of the private.

"May I suggest we split up?" Kowalski asked, sounding back to normal.

"You may."

"Thank you, sir. I suggest we split up."

"Excellent suggestion, Kowalski. You check the alley across the street where we talked to Private last. Rico, you search the street from here over to the construction equipment, and I'll search the street in the other direction." Again, the penguins went their separate ways. Kowalski slid over to the exact spot where they talked to Private the previous night.

"Private? Private? Can you hear me?" The scientist called out, hoping the young penguin would answer. He received no such luck. He did, however, see the broken remains of the tape recorder they gave him.

Skipper had reached the end of the street and was now searching for clues. He saw another set of tire marks, these being darker in color compared to the ones they saw near the fishing line. Another discrepancy was the fact that they were curved. Obviously, the bus had made a sharp turn onto the street. His brow furrowed. If Kowalski's guess was right, and Private had been hit by The Graveyard Eight, he would make sure that it would never terrorize the streets again. His thoughts were interrupted by Rico screaming.

Rico had been following the small line of tire marks down the road when he suddenly picked up a familiar scent. Private was nearby. He bent over so that his beak touched the ground and began to follow the trail. It didn't take him long to find what he was looking for. Partially hidden underneath some pieces of garbage and debris lay Private. Rico's eyes began to water and he uttered a tragic cry. Kowalski and Skipper showed up almost instantly.

"Rico! What's wro-" Skipper stopped short upon seeing his youngest cadet lying unmoving on the side of the street. The boy had numerous bruises and cuts all over him, and his flipper was bent at a painfully awkward angle. The leader fought to hold back some tears as Kowalski brushed off the trash and leaned closer to Private's chest.

"He's still alive," The lieutenant announced with a relieved smile. "He's in pretty bad shape, however."

"Rico, get the medical kit, pronto!" Skipper shouted. Rico quickly coughed up the supplies and handed them to Kowalski, who started bandaging the wounds as best as he could. As he applied a basic splint on Private's flipper, the young penguin flinched.

"It's okay, Private," Kowalski murmured. "I'm almost done." Private's eyes fluttered open a small amount, but he didn't stay conscious for long.

"Pwivate?" Rico asked, concerned.

"He should be fine, but we need to get him back to the zoo as soon as soon as possible," He pointed to a small gash on Private's head. "He could have a concussion."

"Well, then what are we standing around for? Let's move!" Skipper yelled. All three lifted Private as gently as they could and waddled back to the car. After loading the penguin in the back seat with Kowalski, Rico and Skipper climbed into the driver and passenger seats, respectively.

"Okay, Rico, you know what to do. Get us back to the zoo as quickly but as safely as possible." Rico looked back at Private one more time before he turned the car on and began driving back to the zoo.

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 **Yay! Private's still alive! :') I hope you were all immersed in this chapter! The next one will shed more light on Private's condition.**


	4. Back to the Zoo

**Hi again! Here's the next chapter! I don't really have anything to say right now, so keep reading! :)**

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 _ **New York Streets, 0850 Hours**_

It was just 10 minutes until the zoo opened, and the penguins were in a race to get to the veterinary station as fast as they could in order to save Private's life. After all, Kowalski didn't know the full extent of his injuries, but he could tell the young penguin was in dire need of proper medical attention. They eventually reached the entrance to Central Park.

"Rico! Hard left, now!" Skipper yelled. Rico followed the order and turned into the park. Everything was going smoothly until. . .

"Sweet shiitake mushrooms! Evasive maneuvers!" The leader cried. Up ahead were hundreds of pigeons, all pecking and cooing. They also happened to be blocking the path. Rico gripped the wheel harder and stared ahead, determined to make it through no matter what. Instead of swerving around into the grass (which might injure Private even more) he decided on a more direct approach – driving straight through the flock. Rico slammed down on the gas pedal and the car bolted into the crowd. A flurry of feathers and angry squawks filled the air.

"Yo, flightless birds! Watch the tail feathers, huh?" One pigeon in particular shouted. The penguins ignored him and continued to the Central Park Zoo. Finally, they drove in and stopped behind some bushes near the entrance to the vet's office. Rico and Skipper got out and helped lift Private. They put him down a few feet away from the door and Kowalski knocked loud enough for anyone inside to hear. The three slipped out of view. The door opened, revealing a tall, dark-skinned man with black, receding hair.

"Yes?" He asked, expecting to see Alice or another zoo keeper standing there. Instead, he saw a small, seriously injured penguin lying pitifully on the ground.

"Oh, my!" He picked Private up delicately and frowned. "What happened to you? I'll get you all fixed up, little guy." He turned around and headed back into the building, closing the door behind him. The other three penguins peeked out from behind the bushes.

"Nice work, Rico. We got Private back in time, and with just two minutes to spare." Skipper praised, looking at the clock tower and giving his weapons expert a pat on the back. Rico smiled.

"Thank you."

"We should be getting back to the HQ. Alice will be giving us our food any minute." Kowalski said.

"Right. We'll check up on the young private at 1200 hours when the zoo is less crowded." Skipper replied. The trio quickly got back into their car and parked it in the garage, then slid toward their habitat, flipped over the fence, and landed on their fake iceberg. Seconds later, Alice came over, carrying a bucket of fish. She sighed, annoyed as usual.

"Here you go, penguins," She tossed a handful of trout into the fishbowl. She began to turn around but realized something. "Hey, aren't there supposed to be four of you?" The penguins stared at her with blank expressions. She glared at them for a minute, then decided she didn't care.

"Ugh, whatever." She marched off to feed the other animals. Once she was out of sight, Skipper turned to face the front entrance of the zoo.

"Rico, binoculars." Skipper said, holding out a flipper. Rico regurgitated said item and the leader looked through them.

"People are already waiting at the front gate." He observed. Kowalski scratched his chin, thinking.

"Skipper, should we do anything about Private's absence? He is a crowd favorite." His commanding officer lowered the binoculars and turned to face him.

"Kowalski, are you implying that the young private is more charming than me?" He asked smugly. The lieutenant stared at him with a cocked eyebrow, unamused (well, the equivalent for a penguin). There were a few seconds of awkward silence. Finally, Skipper sighed.

"Fine. Do you have any ideas?" Immediately, the tallest penguin whipped out his trusty clipboard (again, from out of nowhere) and began hastily scribbling on it.

"Well, we could simply put a penguin doll from the Zoovenir Shop next to us, although people will notice the lack of movement," He glanced at Skipper, who gave him a rather unimpressed look. "Or, we could just do our regular smile and wave routine without Private." He finished.

"Let's just wing it today." Skipper answered after thinking it over. At that moment, the clock tower struck nine, meaning the zoo was officially open. Kids and their parents began streaming in through the now open gates, eager to see their favorite animals. Fortunately, most of the people that came in went to the other habitats, and the few that did watch the penguins didn't mention the absence of their fourth member.

 _ **Veterinary Station, 1030 Hours**_

The vet had his work cut out for him. The poor little penguin he found outside of the office had serious injuries. Luckily, none of them would cause permanent scarring. He had already cleaned and rebandaged most of the wounds; all that was left was his broken flipper and the gash on his head (he apparently had a slight concussion). As the doctor removed the splint that Kowalski had placed on him, Private stirred in discomfort.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, little penguin. I'll try to be as gentle as possible." The man soothed, grabbing a bottle of the same muscle relaxant that he had used on Skipper when he broke his flipper. This time, he was more accurate with the application, so Private wouldn't be limping and babbling like a zombie. He placed a popsicle stick on each side of his flipper and wrapped it with some gauze to keep it from bending while it healed.

"Ah, there we go! Now that wasn't so bad," The vet smiled at Private, although his eyes were still closed. "Now, I just need to get some more gauze from the medicine cabinet." He turned around and started rummaging through the medical supplies. Private slowly began to wake up. His vision was a bit blurry, and the room was spinning slightly.

"Where am I?" He asked, rubbing his eyes with one flipper. He tried to move the other one, but couldn't bend it for some reason. His sight eventually cleared up and he realized where he was.

"The doctor's office? What am I doing here?" He suddenly remembered last night – the bus hurtling towards him, his scream, the impact, and then blacking out. He also seemed to recall hearing Kowalski telling him everything was okay, but he wasn't sure if that was a dream or not. The memory of getting hit was getting to him, though, and he could see little black dots in his vision. His eyes rolled back and he fell unconscious yet again.

"Here it is!" The doctor said, turning around just after Private fainted (perfect timing, huh?). He lifted the bird's head and started wrapping it. When he was all done, he picked him up and placed him in a small cage on the counter.

"Don't worry, little fella. You'll be as good as new in about a week or so." The man murmured, taking extra care to move the cage from the edge of the counter to the wall; he knew how Alice could be with animals, let alone injured ones.

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 **Alright! It seems like Private is (for the most part) okay! :D We'll hear more from him in the next chapter. Oh, yes, I did put in a rather obvious reference from "I Was a Penguin Zombie" there; that's one of my favorite episodes. :)**


	5. Hospital Visit

**Yay! Chapter 5 is here! This is a shorter chapter, but there is a reason for that. :)**

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 _ **Penguin HQ, 1145 Hours**_

After entertaining the zoo's guests thus far, the team managed to cheer themselves up a little from the early morning's events.

"Well, boys. We did it. Our smile and wave routine was a success! Up high!" Skipper said, raising his flipper. They gave each other five fives.

"Now we can see Private, right?" Kowalski asked, anxious to see if he was okay.

"Alright, men. Since you've done such an excellent job, we'll go and see Private now." The leader smiled.

"Woo-hoo!" Rico cheered, raising his flippers. They scanned the immediate area surrounding their habitat for any humans and, after seeing none, they each dived into their pool and launched themselves up and over the fence. After a series of flips, wall jumping, and sliding (as they normally do to get around), they reached the wall of the vet's office.

"Skipper, we won't be able to get in through the window by stacking on top of each other, since we're one penguin short." The scientist noted.

"Okay, then. Rico, grappling hook." Skipper held out his flipper. Rico coughed up the object and handed it to him. He fired the gun, launching the hook into the open window. Once he heard the hook catch onto the inside of the windowsill, Skipper climbed the rope, followed closely behind by Rico and Kowalski. Once inside, all three instantly saw the cage at the far end of the counter they were now standing on and walked over to it. Private was resting peacefully, curled up like a little hatchling.

"Private." Skipper said, gently reaching into the cage and tapping the cadet's good flipper. Private slowly opened his eyes and saw them.

"Hi, Skippah." He responded, smiling.

"How are you feeling?" Kowalski inquired, noticing the multiple bandages.

"I'm feeling better than before." Private grinned. He had definitely improved since earlier; his vision was back to normal and his head wasn't hurting as much.

"I brawt you somethin'." Rico added. He spit out a comfy pillow, fluffed it, pushed it through the bars of the cage, and placed it under the little penguin's head. He also coughed up Private's lunacorn and handed it to him. He hugged it tightly.

"Thank you, Rico."

"What happened last night, Private?" Skipper questioned. The youngest one frowned.

"Well, after you left, I was trying to make a fishing line. I found a couple of items in the trash next to a building across from the alley, but I still needed some string. I found some in the middle of the road and I started tying it as fast as I could but, before I knew it, The Graveyard Eight was right in front of me! I couldn't do anything but scream! I felt the impact and went flying, and then I blacked out." Private shut his eyes as he said the last part. It was obviously still fresh in his mind.

Skipper felt a twinge of guilt as Private recalled the events that led to him winding up in the doctor's office. Kowalski had begged him to let Private back out, but he refused. He said there were no takebacks, and nobody pushed the matter any further. After Kowalski and Rico sang about the bus that Private had to face for his promotion, they left. They didn't bother to watch him from a distance in case something went wrong. No, instead they went for snow cones. And in the meantime, Private met the bus face-to-face, literally. He threw one of his own men under the bus, and he didn't think twice about it, until now.

As Skipper's mind swirled around all the bus puns and phrases he could think of, the other penguins stared at him. Private's voice broke Skipper away from his thoughts.

"Skippah, are you okay?"

"What?" The leader asked, noticing everyone giving him confused looks. He realized that he let his emotions show through while he was thinking and mentally slapped himself.

"I'm fine, Private." He replied, slightly embarrassed. The sound of the doorknob jiggling interrupted their conversation. The penguins commenced leaving.

"We'll see you later, Private. You rest up now!" Kowalski called as they slid back over to the window they came in from.

"Bye, Pwivate!" Rico waved as he climbed out. Skipper gave his youngest cadet a warm smile and managed to make his exit just as the door opened. Private hid his lunacorn doll under the pillow Rico gave him.

"Well, now. I see you're awake." The doctor observed, walking over to the carrier. The penguin smiled at him; even though Skipper thought the doctor was an evil, twisted man, he felt the vet really cared - at least, he wasn't mean like Alice was. The man walked over and turned the TV on.

"Just in case you want something to look at," The man explained. "I'll be in my office; if you need anything, just make a bunch of noise." He smiled at his little patient and left. Private pulled out his lunacorn from underneath the pillow, hugged it, and went back to sleep.

* * *

 **Well, Skipper's feeling pretty bad about what happened now. :/ I'm sorry that it's slightly shorter than the others, but I needed to stop there because this chapter would've been too long otherwise. ^^; Anyways, the next chapter will add some more humor into this story! :D**


	6. A Plan Devised

**Hi again! As promised, here's the next chapter! It's a little longer, so grab a comfy cushion to sit on and enjoy! :)**

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 _ **Penguin HQ, 1230 Hours**_

"Men, I've been thinking." Skipper said, pacing back and forth in front of the table in the middle of the HQ. Rico and Kowalski were standing behind it.

"About what, sir?" Kowalski asked.

"The Graveyard Eight. The evil, twisted bus that added Private to its roster of victims! And I'm not going to stand around and let it continue its demonic reign of terror." He turned away from the others, placing his flippers behind his back. Kowalski and Rico glanced at each other.

"We're going to put an end to it!" Without warning, Skipper whipped back around and slammed his fist hard onto the table, causing the other penguins to jump.

"You mean, destroy a public bus?!" The lieutenant questioned, surprised.

"Precisely." Skipper responded. Rico smiled.

"Kaboom?"

"Yes, Rico. Kaboom." With that, the weapons expert upchucked a toy bus and a small, lit stick of dynamite and blew the toy up. Kowalski waddled over to Skipper.

"But, Skipper. What about Private?"

"Private's not going to find out." The leader said sternly. Rico looked up from his newly-destroyed miniature version of The Graveyard Eight and gasped.

"B-B-But wouldn't he notice that we just up and leave without him? Surely he'll be suspicious!"

"That's why we leave after he's asleep, Kowalski." Skipper replied with an annoyed tone.

"Right. I should've guessed that." The tall penguin said, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "So, when do we get revenge on the bus?"

"I'm glad you asked, Kowalski. We're going tonight." On cue, Rico chimed out.

"Dum-dum-dum." He received a glare from Skipper and gave an innocent look.

"What if the bus has passengers on it?" The scientist inquired.

"Good point. We'll scan it first. If there are people in it, we postpone the operation; if it's empty, kaboom."

"KABOOM!" Rico cheered, hacking up a bigger stick of dynamite and lighting it.

"TAKE COVER!" Kowalski screamed in a high-pitched voice. He and Skipper dove under the table just as the stick detonated, causing smoke to engulf the interior of the HQ. The penguins coughed and waved some of the smoke away with their flippers.

"RICO!"

"Sowwy."

 _ **Veterinary Station, 1400 Hours**_

"Well, I think it's time to put you back in your own habitat." The doctor announced, lifting the cage and heading toward the exit. A gust of clean, fresh air blew into the office as the door opened, and Private breathed in deeply and sighed; it felt good. The vet made extra care to avoid jiggling the carrier, which the penguin greatly appreciated. Just as the penguin habitat came into view, Alice showed up.

"Oh, hello, Alice." The vet greeted her.

"Hey, doctor," The zookeeper replied. She noticed Private in the cage. "I see you found the fourth penguin. I'll take him back." She made a grab for the carrier, but the vet pulled it away.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to put him back myself." Alice rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Whatever floats your boat, doc." She went to get the plank of wood she used to get onto the penguins' iceberg. In a moment, she returned and put it down for him. The man kneeled down, opened the door, and placed Private on the island.

"Take it easy, little guy." The vet patted the little penguin's head and walked back onto the pathway.

Alice removed the board and the two left the penguin habitat. After they were gone, Private used his good flipper to push open the fish hatch and climbed down the ladder.

 _ **Penguin HQ, 1405 Hours**_

"Okay, so we wait for the bus in the exact same spot where Private was last night." Skipper instructed, indicating the location on a map which was unfolded on the table. Kowalski wrote down the information onto his clipboard.

"Hey, guys!' Private called out, stepping off the ladder. The others quickly tried to hide the evidence. Kowalski hid his clipboard behind his back, Rico swallowed some dynamite he was holding, and Skipper hastily rolled up the map and tried to block Private's view of the whole thing.

"Oh, h-hi there, uh, Private! How is everything?" The leader replied, acting overly suspicious. Private caught it immediately.

"I'm fine, thank you," He looked at them, confused. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing!" Kowalski answered a little too quickly. He smiled nervously. "I'm going to be in the lab if you need me!" He rushed into his laboratory as fast as he could, making sure to keep his clipboard behind him.

"Yeah, we weren't doing anything, Private. We weren't planning on a secret mission that we didn't want you to know about or something!" Skipper added, pushing the map over to Rico, who instantly shoved it down his throat. The expression on the private's face told him that he wasn't buying it. He sighed.

"Okay, Private. You caught us." Rico stared a Skipper, shocked.

"Wha-?" He received a quick slap to his stomach, causing the map to stick out. Rico pushed it back in.

"We were planning a surprise party for you." The leader finished, pretending to sound disappointed that Private ruined it. He peeked at Private's face while he wasn't looking; this time, the young cadet took the bait.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I ruined the surprise, Skippah." He said, pulling out his lunacorn doll from out of nowhere and holding it. The leader smiled and placed a flipper on his back.

"It's okay, Private. Hey, I'll tell you what. You can watch 'The Lunacorns' on TV and relax for the rest of the day, alright?" Private grinned and hugged him.

"Thank you, Skippah!" He waddled over to the TV and changed the channel until he found 'The Lunacorns'. Skipper began sneaking over to the door that led to Kowalski's lab and silently beckoned Rico to follow. They closed the door behind them.

"'The Lunacorns' will return after these messages!" The TV announcer said. Private sighed. Why does it always seem like the moment he sits down to watch something, they go right to a commercial break? Private got up and headed over to his bunk to put away his lunacorn doll and the pillow Rico gave him earlier. As he waddled past the lab door, he heard talking.

"Is he suspecting anything?" The scientist questioned.

"Nope. I claimed that we were planning a party for him and that he ruined the surprise. You should've seen the look on his face when he heard that!" Skipper responded proudly. Private gasped.

"Skippah tricked me? Why?" He whispered to himself. Private leaned closer to the door so he could hear better.

"Now, let's get back to business. Rico, map," The crazy penguin retrieved it from his gut and rolled it out on one of the lab tables. "So, like I mentioned before, we'll wait for The Graveyard Eight right where we left Private last night." He tapped the location with his flipper.

"How are we going to scan the bus for passengers?" Kowalski asked.

"You and Rico will watch the bus from the alley, and I'll be hiding across the street. We'll each have a pair of binoculars and a walkie-talkie to communicate. That way we'll make sure no one is on board."

"'ow long 'til kaboom?" The weapons expert mumbled.

"Operation: Bus Hunt will commence at 2300 hours; we want Private to be asleep when we leave."

"Okay." Kowalski finished writing his notes and put his clipboard away.

"All we need now are weapons." Skipper turned to Rico, who coughed out a few different types. There were dynamite sticks, timed explosives, bombs, and bazookas. The leader thought.

"Hmm, I like your way of thinking, Rico. How about a magnetic bomb with a timer?" Rico regurgitated one that fit the bill and handed it to him.

"Perfect. When the target is within range, I'll activate the timer and throw it at The Graveyard Eight."

"Of course!" Kowalski said, understanding what Skipper was saying. "Since the exterior of the bus is entirely made of metal, the magnet in the bomb will stick to it!"

"Exactly. And we can all sit back and enjoy the light show afterward. Then it's all set. Until then, we'll just keep Private occupied." Skipper rubbed his flippers together in anticipation. Outside, Private could hear them heading toward the door. He quickly put his things away and ran back to the TV. He sat down just as they came out.

"Hi, there, Private. Enjoying 'The Lunacorns'?" Skipper greeted. Private turned around from the television set.

"Yes, Skippah." He smiled, not wanting him to know that he knew about their plan. He returned his attention back to his program and tried to come up with a plan of his own.

* * *

 **Ooh, things are starting to get interesting. . . O.O What is Private going to do? Find out in the next chapter! :)**


	7. Sneaking Out

**Welcome back! :D Just a quick note: The penguins tend to change bunks from episode-to-episode, so I'm using the bunk order from "Assault and Batteries" (from top to bottom: Kowalski, Rico, Private, and Skipper). The last two will switch in a few moments.**

* * *

 _ **Penguin HQ, 2200 Hours**_

"Lights out, boys!" Skipper ordered, heading for his bunk. The other penguins yawned and stretched, waddling towards their bunks as well. Kowalski and Rico climbed up into their beds and put their nightcaps on. As Private came over to climb into his bunk, Skipper stopped him.

"Hold on there, young Private. You can sleep in my bunk." He gestured toward his bed on the bottom.

"Why, thank you, Skippah." He slipped into Skipper's bunk while the leader climbed into Private's.

"Goodnight, boys." Skipper said. The lights in the HQ turned off and everything was quiet. Eventually, the sound of tiptoeing broke the silence. The lights came on and Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico stopped in their tracks.

"What are you doing?" Private inquired.

"Uh, we were just getting some, uh, water, Private," Skipper made up. "See?" The trio went over to the refrigerator and drank glasses of water.

"At the same time?" Private asked.

"Well, of course! What's getting a glass of water like without your teammates, am I right?" Kowalski replied, laughing awkwardly.

"Right. . ." The private responded. Skipper decided to end this strange discussion.

"Alright, back to bed, boys." They put the cups away and climbed back into their bunks. The lights turned off again. A little while later, another noise sounded through the HQ. The lights came on again. Rico and Skipper jumped and turned around.

"Why are you two up?" Private questioned. Rico rubbed the back of his head, trying to think of a reasonable answer.

"Uh, Miss Perky."

"I think I saw her over there." The little penguin pointed to the far corner of the room by the television set.

"Ooh. Thanks, Pwivate." Rico waddled over to his doll and hugged it. Private stared after Rico, then turned his attention to Skipper.

"Uh, and I was just going to make sure the fish hatch was locked." The leader added. He climbed up the ladder to examine the entrance and quietly unlocked it so they could exit without waking Private up, that is if he ever went to sleep.

"I thought it automatically locks when you initiate lights out, Skippah," Private stated. The leader mentally slapped himself for not thinking of a better excuse.

"Oh, right. I knew that." He said sheepishly as he climbed into the bunk a second time.

Meanwhile, Private smiled to himself as he heard Rico give Miss Perky soft kisses and gentle murmurs. He turned off the lights and flipped over so he was facing the wall opposite from the rest of the room. Rico looked to see if Private was still facing him and, realizing he wasn't, quietly went and laid down in his bunk. Finally, the penguin habitat was completely peaceful. . . until it wasn't. Private switched the lights on yet again.

This time, it was just Kowalski.

"What's wrong, Kowalski?" The young cadet questioned. The tall penguin glared at Skipper.

"Aw, come on! That's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" Skipper asked innocently. The lieutenant sighed.

"I was just going to check on my lab equipment." He told Private flatly. The tall penguin went into his lab and closed the door. Sounds of frustrated yelling and grumbling could be heard as the scientist ranted on about something that Private couldn't quite make out. After a minute, he stepped back out and returned to his bunk. This time, the others didn't bother to attempt leaving.

 _ **Penguin HQ, 2250 Hours**_

A full forty-five minutes had passed since the penguins had tried to leave the HQ, and Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico were now waiting until Private was fully asleep before trying again. Their previous attempts were ruined by Private turning the lights on and asking irritating questions. They needed to get to their planned rendezvous point so they could put an end to The Graveyard Eight's nightly run. Skipper glanced at the young penguin and, seeing that his eyes were closed, slowly got up and climbed the ladder, followed by Kowalski and Rico. Since Skipper had unlocked the hatch earlier, he was able to silently push the fish bowl out of the way, and the three made it topside without interruption. They closed the hatch behind them.

"Ugh, finally!" The leader whispered, relieved. "I thought he would never fall asleep!" They saw the time on the clock tower.

"We have 10 minutes, at least," Kowalski pointed out. "Should we go on foot or take the car?"

"How long would it take us if we went on foot?" Skipper asked. The tall penguin took his abacus out and slid the beads back and forth.

"About five minutes."

"And with the car?"

"Four point 99 minutes." Skipper stared at the lieutenant in disbelief.

"Seriously, Kowalski? We save one second if we take the car!?"

"Technically, one nanosecond."

"Whatever. The faster we get there, the better. Rico, get the car."

"Whoo!" Rico slid over to the garage. In a moment, all three were heading to the scene of the hit-and-run.

Back in the HQ, a certain penguin was lying in bed, and his eyes were open.

* * *

 **Shoot. Private is still awake! :O What kind of plan does he have up his metaphorical sleeve? Will the others be able to stop The Graveyard Eight? Well, the first question will be answered in the next chapter! :)**


	8. Private's Plan

**Okay, this chapter is a bit short but, again, this was done on purpose. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

 _ **Rendezvous Point, 2300 Hours**_

The three penguins had reached the rendezvous point. Within minutes, they were in position and awaiting their target.

"Kowalski, report." Skipper spoke into his walkie-talkie.

"Nothing to report, sir." Was the scientist's response. The street was empty and quiet, and the safety cones that had blocked the street before had since been removed. The penguins shifted around, quickly getting bored.

"Skipper? Why did we show up so early?" Kowalski inquired through the radio.

"Yeah," Rico added. Skipper took a few moments to reply.

"I didn't want to get stuck back at the HQ if Private kept waking up, which he did. There was absolutely no way I was going to postpone this mission if I could help it." There was silence.

"Snow cones?" Rico grumbled eagerly, hoping the leader would let them pass the time in a more fun way.

"Okay, why not? Kowalski, where's the nearest snow cone stand?" Skipper could hear Kowalski on the other end pull out his abacus and slide the beads around. Seriously, why couldn't he just use a calculator like any normal secret agent penguin?

"Roughly 10 minutes away, past Central Park."

"Ok, then. Let's go." Skipper hopped into the car first, being the closest to it, and the others slid across the street from the alley and climbed in seconds later. Rico put the car into reverse and backed up until they reached the intersection, then began the drive to the snow cone stand.

 _ **Penguin HQ, 2330 Hours**_

"Think, Private, think!" The young penguin urged himself, pacing back and forth in the HQ. He had tried to come up with something while watching "The Lunacorns" earlier, but Prince Shares-a-Lot and Princess Self-Respectra were having a tea party, and he just forgot about planning entirely. His attempt to make the other penguins give up on their secret mission by constantly turning the lights on at the slightest noise had failed, and now he desperately needed another idea. It bothered him to think that they were going to put themselves in danger for something that was his fault.

"I shouldn't have tried to make that fishing line in the middle of the street. What a ridiculous thing for me to do!" The young penguin muttered to himself. He scanned the room for anything that could help him. He glanced at Kowalski's laboratory door and grinned.

"Maybe something in the lab can help me." He pulled the door open and went inside. As expected, there were beakers, test tubes, charts, tables, and other pieces of science equipment. Private had no idea what he could possibly do with any of it, but he was desperate and needed to get to where the other penguins were before midnight. As he walked around the room, his spotted one of their jetpacks sitting on the counter.

"Perfect!" He exclaimed, grabbing it along with a pair of goggles. He ran out of the lab and climbed up the ladder to get outside. Private put the gear on and started shaking. Finally, the soda bottle cap shot off and the penguin was sent high into the air. He banked in the direction of the penguins' rendezvous point.

* * *

 **Yeah, like I said, this was a really short chapter, but the next one makes up for it! :)**


	9. Operation: Bus Hunt

**Alright, the moment everyone's been waiting for. . . Will the penguins be able to stop The Graveyard Eight? :O Read on to find out!**

* * *

 _ **New York Streets, 2345 Hours**_

"That hit the spot." Skipper sighed, patting his belly as the penguins drove back from the snow cone stand. They had helped themselves to all the delicious flavors the cart had to offer without having to worry about any humans showing up, since it was closed. Of course, after they gorged themselves, Rico hacked up enough change to cover it all.

"It sure did, Skipper!" Kowalski replied, licking his beak with satisfaction. Rico rounded the corner and parked in the same spot as before. The penguins got out and stood on the sidewalk.

"Well, now that we're all ready to go, let's set up the explosive." The leader said. Rico coughed up the bomb they decided on earlier and gave it to Skipper. It was roughly the size of a stopwatch, with a timer on the front and wires connecting it to the explosives inside. The entire case would become magnetized once the timer was activated. The leader set the bomb for 10 seconds.

"Skipper, are you sure 10 seconds is enough time? What if something goes wrong?" Kowalski questioned, noticing the timer.

"Believe me, Kowalski. Ten seconds is all I need to send that bus to the scrap yard," The leader responded, sounding determined. He looked at the weapons expert. "When I start walking into the street, Rico, I want you to go further up and use a flashlight to signal to Kowalski when you see the bus coming and if there are any passengers on it. Kowalski will then relay the information to me so I know when to activate the bomb." Rico and Kowalski nodded. The trio returned to their positions.

 _ **Above Central Park, 2350 Hours**_

Private was enjoying his nighttime flight over New York City. It was so peaceful to be up in the air, and the view was simply stunning. The best thing was that he would be able to quickly see where his teammates were and pick somewhere to land. Within a couple of minutes, the young penguin found their car parked on the sidewalk down below, and started his descent.

He picked a small alley between two buildings on the same side of the street the car was on; that way he would be close enough to help if needed, yet far enough away to remain unseen. He removed the gear and carried it with him to a concealed spot behind where Skipper was standing. He put the jetpack and goggles down and inched closer. From his vantage point, he could see Kowalski and Rico directly across the street in the alley, with Skipper and the car a short distance diagonally to his right. He breathed deeply; it was nerve-racking to be so close to his team without them knowing. He would be in a lot of trouble if he got caught.

 _ **Rendezvous Point, 2355 Hours**_

This was it. The moment of truth. Skipper began to make his way out into the middle of the street, closely watched by Kowalski, Rico and, unbeknownst to them, Private. Skipper held the bomb under his flipper and his walkie-talkie in the other. Rico slid further down the street to alert Kowalski when the bus arrived. Off in the far distance, a faint glow of headlights appeared. Rico hacked up a flashlight, turned it on, and waved the beam in Kowalski's direction.

"Skipper, The Graveyard Eight is headed this way." Kowalski said through the radio.

"Any passengers?" He asked. Kowalski looked down the street for another sign from Rico. The flashlight beam shone again, moving from side-to-side. The scientist spoke into the walkie-talkie again.

"That's a negative, Skipper. The operation is a go."

"Excelante." The leader replied, placing the radio down and holding the bomb with both flippers. A few seconds later, he could see the lights from The Graveyard Eight growing bigger with each passing moment. He placed his flipper on the timer.

"Skipper, activate the bomb in three, two, one. . . Now!" The scientist instructed. Skipper slammed the button, and the timer commenced countdown. However, the magnet that was built into the explosive was stronger than he realized, and the bomb attached itself to a manhole cover a few inches away, taking him with it. The leader hastily tried prying it off.

"Aw, for the love of–" Skipper grunted, pulling as hard as he could. Meanwhile, Private began to panic.

"Oh, no! I have to do something!" Private looked down the street and his eyes widened in terror as he saw The Graveyard Eight heading straight toward Skipper. He couldn't hide any longer.

"Skippah, look out!" He cried, running towards him.

Skipper looked and noticed Private, then turned to see the bus hurtling toward him. He felt a hard shove as Private knocked him out of the way. The bomb, still stuck to the manhole cover, detonated just as the bus drove by, causing The Graveyard Eight to explode into a huge ball of flames. Pieces of debris flew everywhere, lighting the night with a bright orange glow. Skipper got up and immediately began searching for his youngest teammate.

"Private!" He called desperately, looking carefully for any sign of him. At that moment, the others arrived.

"Skipper, are you okay?" Kowalski asked, who had witnessed the entire thing from the alley.

"I'm fine, but we have to find Private!" He walked a short distance away, continuing to search. Rico pointed to something nearby and gasped. The others followed the direction of his flipper to see the young cadet lying in the road. They rushed to his side.

"Private!" Skipper cried, lifting the little penguin's head. His eyes were closed. Kowalski and Rico began to sob, hugging each other for support. The leader felt a few tears of his own slide down his beak and land onto the younger penguin's feathers. He hugged Private tightly, allowing his tears flow freely.

"HE WAS JUST A BOY!" Skipper shouted into the air. As the penguins continued crying, Private's eyes fluttered open.

"Skippah?" He asked weakly. The leader stopped crying and loosened his grip on him so he could see his face.

"Private! You're alive!" He hugged Private again. This time, the others joined in, unintentionally crushing him.

"Yes, I am. I would like to stay that way, please." Private croaked out. Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico realized what they were doing and gave Private room to breathe.

"Any new injuries?" Kowalski asked, checking him for fresh wounds.

"I'm fine." Private replied, slowly sitting up. The penguins glanced around at the falling remains of The Graveyard Eight.

"Well, it looks like the evil bus had met its match." Skipper announced, helping Private onto his feet and placing his flippers around the others.

"You did it, Skippah!" The youngest penguin cheered. The leader smiled at him.

"No, we did it." The penguins stayed there for a while, watching the last pieces of debris drift to the ground. Eventually, Skipper spoke again.

"Well, Operation: Bus Hunt was a success! Let's head back to the HQ; I think we can all get a good night's sleep now." He said, winking at Private. The group got into their car, and Rico drove back to the zoo.

* * *

 **Take that, evil bus! XP Oh, about the nobody-on-the-bus thing, yeah, I guess you could say they blew the driver up with it, but hey, she was CREEPY and Rico couldn't see her from his position. So, if you really want to, just pretend the explosion sent her flying over to Hoboken or something; she would fit right in there. ;)**


	10. Promotion Results

**Well, here is the final chapter of this story! Not much to say here, so please continue!**

* * *

 _ **Penguin HQ, 0600 Hours**_

The penguins were sleeping peacefully in their bunks, enjoying every moment of it after the events from the previous night. Skipper woke up first, as usual, and started to make his fish coffee. He smiled at his slumbering teammates; he decided to let them sleep in a little bit today. After a while, the others finally got up and joined the leader at the table.

"Good morning, sir." Kowalski greeted Skipper, stretching.

"Hello, Kowalski." He replied. Rico grumbled a welcome also, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Private waddled up to Skipper and smiled.

"Hi, Skippah!" The leader grinned.

"Hey, there, Private," He drank the last of his fish coffee and set the mug down. "Boys, I think this is the right time to discuss the little matter of Private's promotion." The young penguin frowned; he knew that he had failed the test miserably. Kowalski spoke up.

"But, Skipper, he–" The lieutenant clammed up upon seeing Skipper's glare.

"As I was saying," The leader continued, stepping into the middle of the room and turning to face them. "After the events of last night, I have made the following decision. . ." He gestured for Private to stand next to him and placed a flipper on his shoulder.

"Congratulations, Private, you are hereby promoted to the rank of. . . Private!" The young penguin looked at him, confused. "First class." Skipper added. Kowalski and Rico cheered and gave Private a pat on the back.

"Of course, we'll still call you Private; the first class is implied. Rico, classified file!" Rico hacked up the folder and gave it to Private. "Enjoy your classified joke access!" Private giggled with excitement.

"Oh, boy! This is the moment I've been waiting for!" He opened the file and stared at the joke. He smiled and began cracking up. The others grinned.

"So, what do you think?" Skipper inquired. Private wiped a tear from his eye.

"It's a classic, Skippah! I love that part about the-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there! That's a classified joke, Private; you must never say it aloud." The leader instructed, looking around the HQ with squinted eyes to check if someone was listening. The little penguin looked confused again.

"How come, Skippah?"

"Who knows who could be listening, or even watching? Maybe there's a whole website out there with stories about our operations, and people just waiting for us to spill our secrets so they can write about it!" Everyone stared blankly at him.

"I think your paranoia is showing, Skipper," Kowalski said, trying not to smile. Rico made a coo-coo signal with his flipper when the leader wasn't watching. Skipper sighed.

"Never mind, but don't say I didn't warn you. Now, let's head topside; don't think for a second that I forgot about morning training!" He winked. With that, they all flipped up the ladder, ready to begin another day.

 _ **The End**_

* * *

 **So, there you have it. :) A happy ending and Skipper's onto me, all at the same time! ;) I hope you enjoyed my first PoM story! Now that this story's over, please favorite and review! :D I always appreciate getting feedback, no matter how old this story gets! :) Thanks again for reading!**


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